Two steps from Homeless

School is starting soon and I just took my two youngest sons school shopping in our favorite stores. They got to pick out quite a few different outfits each sticking to the budget I gave them before hand. We finished by going to one of my favorite restaurants The Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. I love spending time with my children and realize that days like yesterday are numbered as they get older and will want to spend more time with their friends. We're moving soon to a new state so everything and every place will be a new adventure. I have two months to show them some of my favorite childhood places and help them remember where they started their lives.

I grew up going up to Spokane to visit my grandparents so am quite familiar with which parts are safe and which are not. My favorite restaurant happens to be in a part that can be questionable. I usually don't worry about that sort of thing. I believe that all adventures and experiences are growing experiences to be savored and embraced. Whether good, bad or scary. They are what makes us, us. I like to talk to people no matter where I am and have had conversations and meals with people in the ghetto of Charleston, a vegan cafe in Clonakilty, Ireland with two men who were members of the IRA and tea with a lady who might have been a voodoo priestess (I'm still not sure) also in Charleston, to name a few. I try to discipline myself to not think badly of people who are less fortunate than I. But I fear yesterday I failed miserably. I am a snob at heart.

My family has had their shares of hard time but we've always gotten by with my mom making the best of things. I have always had what I needed or wanted somehow. I would like to think that I am open-minded enough to be able to work with the homeless in a soup kitchen or help them find needed services. I've had a tiny bit of experience with this and have held that I would like to do more service work when we move to Florida where there are more programs available. Yesterday a homeless man approached me begging for money for food. I knew that there was a shelter close by so I lied and told him I didn’t have any cash. My littlest immediately picked up on that and was shocked that I would lie. I told him that it wasn’t safe to give a homeless person money because it might be a trick and the person might rob you or they might use it for drugs or booze. When did I become holier than thou? When did I apply for the all knowing position?

Today I am disgusted with myself that I set such an example for my sons. I am not better than that man and should not have presumed to decide how he should get money or food. I’ve made some bad decisions in my short life and if it wasn’t for my family and friends I could be where he is today. Somehow I’ve turned from the ideals I held up high to the mainstream blindness that I despised.